Spotify’s ‘Car Thing’ Debacle: Customers Send a Shitty Message in Unprecedented Protest

Spotify, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to abruptly kill off its beloved “Car Thing” with all the grace of a runaway dumpster fire. That’s right, folks, the gadget that was supposed to revolutionize your in-car Spotify experience is now officially as useful as a screen door on a submarine. And, in a move that has shocked exactly no one, Spotify has opted to offer zero refunds, credits, or even a half-hearted apology. It’s almost like they don’t care!

Customers who invested their hard-earned cash into this glorified paperweight are now left with a sleek, black box of disappointment. “I thought the ‘Car Thing’ was the future of music on the go,” lamented one disgruntled user. “Turns out, the future is a cruel joke.”

But wait, it gets better. Instead of addressing the issue with any semblance of customer service, Spotify has chosen to stay silent, perhaps hoping that if they ignore the problem long enough, it will just go away. Spoiler alert: it won’t.

Now, in a twist that only 2024 could deliver, a grassroots recycling program has emerged. But this isn’t your run-of-the-mill, save-the-planet kind of deal. No, this one involves covering your now-worthless “Car Thing” in animal or human fecal matter and mailing it straight to Spotify’s management team. That’s right, people are so fed up, they’re literally sending sh*t to Spotify HQ.

The rationale behind this, if you can call it that, seems to be a cathartic release of rage. “If Spotify wants to treat us like crap, we’ll return the favor—literally,” said one participant in the scatological protest. It’s an extreme form of customer feedback, and while it might not change anything, it’s certainly making a mess.

Spotify’s response to this creative recycling initiative? Crickets. They’re either too stunned to respond or just hoping the smell doesn’t reach their offices. Either way, the silence is deafening—and putrid.

So, what’s next for Spotify? They could acknowledge the colossal screw-up and attempt to make amends. Or, they could continue pretending that everything is fine while their offices get buried under a mountain of poop-covered gadgets. Either way, their reputation is circling the drain faster than you can say, “What were they thinking?”

Stay tuned for more updates on this steaming pile of a saga. In the meantime, keep your fecal matter handy—you never know when another tech company might need a lesson in customer service.