Why We Don’t Speak Caveish Anymore

Y we dunt speek cuvish anyMoor Iss dat ith iss haurd tooo undirtstand. IIt iss moosty gurnting anp piontingg aht tings. sooo Lolgicly we wundent speeke Caveish Anymor . altho, Peepol half mooved on frum speking sush udder nom-shensh, and it mlakes senth y e dunt shpeek Caveish anymor. wHeen wee speekk Caveish, Ith Ith hurd tu undirtstand. Y u wud wUnt too stheep Caveish … Continue reading Why We Don’t Speak Caveish Anymore

New Species Of Octopus Found In Deep Sea

Recently, in early 2017, scientists found a new species of octopus (pictured above) in a ocean valley, where previously none have been. Soon after the discovery, Apple released a statement on the find. Apple said that they had discovered the octopus by accident, and used a film of it for a screensaver. They “lost” it after filming it. This creature has a hypnotizing movement, causing divers … Continue reading New Species Of Octopus Found In Deep Sea

Declaration of Independence — As Written By A Infant

When in the Crouse of hmuan etenvs it beoecms neesscary for one poelpe to dsilsove the ploticail bands wcihh hvae ccnenoted them with aontehr and to asusme anomg the peorws of the erath, the serpaate and euqal sotatin to which the Laws of Nature and of Ntarue’s God enittle tmhe, aa decent rpesect to the oipnnois of mankind reiquers taht they shulod dcelrae the cauess … Continue reading Declaration of Independence — As Written By A Infant

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Buckle up all you love bugs you, because Valentines Day is just around the corner!  Ahh yes, that beautiful holiday, celebrating love, happiness, and small hearts made out of chalk, featuring perverted messages, advertised as candy!  And what better way to celebrate Valentines Day than to gorge yourself on all the succulent, rich, love filled sweets that orbit around the cheerful holiday!  Chocolate boxes, bars, … Continue reading The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Impeachment Hearings Start on January 21

“The President-elect [Donald Trump] is going to drop the ‘elect’ part of his title on the 20th,” says Erwin Havel, one of the many election analysts that predicted the outcome of the election horribly wrong. There is news from Washington that the impeachment hearings for the future President are to start just one day after the inauguration. Donald Trump posted a Tweet about the hearings: “He … Continue reading Impeachment Hearings Start on January 21

Editor Falls Asleep While Typing Article

Today at The Faux Report, an unnamed editor fell asleep while typing. “It’s a disgrace” said a reader, who prefers to be anonymous. Searches will continue to try and find who this disgraceful person. So far, there is no clues to who it was, but we have one small cluz jsflkdhkldsgjj””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””” ”””””””””””””””’ojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjsdfsffsfsfdjjjjjjjjnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniooooouhhhhhh80999 999999996YGTIIIIIIIIIIIU888888888888888888YGUKLJJJJJJGHHHHJKWERY QILasdgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggfddjhjk !$#*&U$E#&_)**^?&%”#%?$< GVM<L>HN^$^ $@%$#(&*^SD<JCY89E407DNMPTY9N/6HHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH   Continue reading Editor Falls Asleep While Typing Article

Idiotic Phobia Victims Endanger Us All

Irrational phobias seem to plague the people of America, and whether it be a deathly outlook on darkness, or a rude opinion of our eight legged friends, the majority of the sane population looks down upon those stricken with crippling yet, stupid, (“I know.  I dropped the S bomb.  What’cha gonna do about it huh!”), fears with a grain of disgust. However, while the ridicule … Continue reading Idiotic Phobia Victims Endanger Us All