What Are Kids’ Summer Plans?

Photo: Oh yeah! Stock photos!

With the end of school fast approaching, kids are getting ready for some summer fun. Some schools have already opened their doors to summer, and the rest are only days away from the final bell of the year. The Faux Report has compiled a list of the top plans for the 2017 summer. Continue reading “What Are Kids’ Summer Plans?”

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Buckle up all you love bugs you, because Valentines Day is just around the corner!  Ahh yes, that beautiful holiday, celebrating love, happiness, and small hearts made out of chalk, featuring perverted messages, advertised as candy!  And what better way to celebrate Valentines Day than to gorge yourself on all the succulent, rich, love filled sweets that orbit around the cheerful holiday!  Chocolate boxes, bars, … Continue reading The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Man Not Flattened by Falling Rhino

Photo: This is not what happened SPRINGFIELD, MO- In Springfield, Missouri, a man was not killed by a falling rhino. In fact, a woman was not flattened by a falling rhino. No one was flattened by a falling rhino. Nobody was flattened by a rhino, falling or not. Also, no people were stabbed to death by drunk zebras or Farmer Graham’s cattle. A total of zero football coaches were bribed … Continue reading Man Not Flattened by Falling Rhino

5 New York Walks That Will Make You Cry

1. The Greenpoint Walk This 37 minute walk down Greenpoint Avenue to the First Calvary Cemetery where your aunt was buried is ideal for expressing your emotions. The idea is to eat a tasty meal of cow tongue and liver at the 4.3 star Five Leaves restaurant  in the charming Greenpoint neighbourhood. 2. The LEGO Store Walk This brisk 18 minute walk is a nice … Continue reading 5 New York Walks That Will Make You Cry

Camilla’s Screen Time Runs Out

Photo: Camilla’s laptop just before running out of time PHOENIX , AZ- Camilla Washington, 18, just started College, and it was a nasty surprise when Parental Controls took over her new Mac laptop. A few minutes into her homework, a warning popped up telling her to, “Finish up, because your time is running out. Save your work in all open programs.” She thought nothing of … Continue reading Camilla’s Screen Time Runs Out

Kid Doesn’t Survive Millionth Table Setting

Photo: Out with a bang: Sofie’s last setting ALBANY, NY- Sofie Bassermann, 17, didn’t survive her 1,023,756th table setting. After taking the plates from the dishwasher, she collapsed in the short hallway to the dining room. Doctors discovered that she died of a spine related injury. “Her spine couldn’t take the strain of carrying the dishes for all of her 16 person family,” said Dr. Jonathan Brim, … Continue reading Kid Doesn’t Survive Millionth Table Setting